10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Homeschooling Elementary

Co-op at our church in San Diego, CA 2020

If I could sit down with my first-year homeschooling self, coffee in hand, I would have a lot to say. Some lessons you can only learn by living through them, but others? I would have happily taken a few shortcuts. Here’s what I wish someone had told me before I started homeschooling my elementary kids:

1. Let Them Read Whatever They Want—Until They Love Reading

I thought I had to curate every book in the beginning. But here’s the truth: kids who love to read will eventually find their way to the great books. The goal early on isn’t reading classics, it’s falling in love with reading itself. Let them devour comic books, silly chapter books, field guides, how-to manuals—whatever pulls them in. There’s plenty of time later to guide them toward deeper literature once the foundation of love is laid.

2. Offer a Math Choice—and Stick With It

Some days, a full math lesson feels overwhelming. Other days, it flies by. Early on, I learned to offer a choice: "Would you rather work for 20 minutes or finish one lesson?" Either option accomplishes the goal without the power struggle. But the key is to keep the same choice for the whole term. Don't switch it up just because one week is harder than another. Kids need that predictability.

3. Prioritize Chatting Time (Especially With Older Elementary Kids)

Learning isn’t just lessons, it’s conversations. Make room every day (or at least a few times a week) to just talk. Ask silly questions, dream big, let them tell you about the Minecraft project they built or the history fact they found fascinating. Those chats deepen learning and your relationship.

4. Let Reading Motivation Come From Them—Not Adults

My kids learned to read early, thanks to my grandmother—before kindergarten, in fact. At the time, I was proud (and honestly still am) because it gave them so much early confidence. But looking back, I realize that early ability doesn’t automatically create a love for reading.

My oldest still struggles to enjoy it, and I often wonder if the journey would have been smoother if the desire had come from within her, rather than being something taught to her. If I were starting over, I’d make space for that internal motivation to bloom first. Loving reading is more important than racing to master it.

5. Adapt Read-Alouds to Each Child's Needs

I always believed in letting my kids play quietly while I read aloud, and for most of them, it worked beautifully.
But one of my children has ADHD, and she couldn’t listen well while doing something else. She needed a different approach: sitting close by, following along with the book, maybe even pointing to the words.

If I could go back, I would have helped her connect more deeply by adjusting how we read together, and I would have kept a notebook of her questions, comments, and favorite moments. That way, she could have seen (and remembered!) that she actually did enjoy parts of the stories, even if she didn’t always realize it in the moment.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Bribe Them

It’s okay to incentivize. Small rewards can move mountains in those early years. Stickers, extra screen time, getting to choose the family movie night. It’s not "spoiling" them. It’s teaching them that hard work brings good things. Motivation grows stronger with practice.

7. Start Chores Younger—And Frame It as "Family Work"

If you wait until you’re “ready” to teach them chores, you’ll wait forever. Start when they’re tiny. Give them real jobs (with real grace for the mess) and explain that helping is what family members do for each other. You’re not just cleaning, you’re building a home together.

8. Keep a Book List From Day One

Every book they read. Every book you read aloud. Write them all down. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just a running list in a notebook or a spreadsheet. Over the years, this becomes a beautiful record of their journey as readers and learners.

9. Prepare and Schedule Special Days

Normal homeschool days can blend together after a while. Break it up on purpose. Plan field trips, celebration days, pajama days, silly-themed lunches. Don’t wait until you feel burned out—put these days on the calendar ahead of time. Little moments of novelty keep morale high.

10. Make Outside Time and Stretching Time Non-Negotiable

You can homeschool from the couch—but not all day. Outside time isn’t a luxury. It’s essential. Build it into your rhythm, just like math or history. Same with stretching: a few minutes of silly, intentional movement can reset a whole grumpy morning.

Final Thought:

If homeschooling elementary feels messy and imperfect, that's because it is. It's not a factory—it’s a life.
And life is full of fits, starts, laughter, setbacks, grace, and surprising beauty.

If I had known these lessons earlier, I would have worried a lot less...and loved the journey even more.

Sometimes all it takes is a little guidance (and someone who's been there) to help you move forward with more confidence and peace.

If you’d like personalized support for your homeschool, schedule a free consultation with me today!