What Our Move Looked Like with Kids Who Were Already Independent
We had a little fun in the moving process, San Diego » Oklahoma City, May 2025
How training for responsibility turned a major transition into a team effort
We moved across states this month—just weeks after I had hip surgery. And while the military provided a moving company (thank goodness), there was still an enormous amount of work left on our shoulders.
We had to:
Deep clean the entire house,
Sort and pack all the liquids,
Purge the fridge and pantry,
Organize personal bags for weeks of limbo without our household goods,
And load our flatbed trailer with everything we’d need to survive a month of transition (including a weight rack, lawn equipment, scuba gear, and a Traeger grill).
That kind of list is overwhelming in the best of times. Add post-op recovery and a looming deadline? Normally, this would’ve been meltdown territory.
But here’s the difference:
Our kids did nearly all of it.
(Except the trailer-packing—my husband is our family’s designated Tetris champion.)
From Obedient to Independent
I’ve always been a structured parent. My kids have followed rules and contributed to the home from the time they were small. But obedience isn’t the same as independence.
You can have children who are respectful, compliant, even cheerful—but still totally dependent on you to make decisions, manage time, and carry the mental load.
That’s what the Household Harmony Plan and Week of 12 are all about.
Not just peace in the home—but capability. Ownership. Confidence.
And during this move, it showed.
What My Kids Actually Did
Here’s a glimpse of how my three middle school kids stepped up without drama:
Cleaned their own rooms thoroughly
Gathered every liquid item in the house (cleaners, oils, soaps, etc.)
Cleared out the fridge and pantry—no science projects left behind!
Cleaned all the appliances
Managed the laundry system and made sure every family member had enough clean clothes packed for 3+ weeks
Organized and labeled boxes for the trailer
Packed and loaded gym gear, homeschool books, electronics, snacks, pet items, and supplies
Took initiative to help extended family who came to assist
Looked after the dogs and kept them calm during chaos
Helped me move carefully and avoid reinjury while still recovering from surgery
What It Feels Like to Trust Your Kids
This wasn’t a situation where I hovered or handed out individual instructions.
Instead, I made one master family to-do list—everything that needed to be done. And my kids? They came to me when they were ready for another task. They picked what to do. They got it done. No hand-holding. No repeated explanations.
This was the payoff of years of slow, steady skill-building.
I could look at my kids and say,
“We need to be out of the house by tomorrow—and I can’t do much. Let’s go.”
And they just… did it.
Not because they were forced to.
Not because I was barking orders.
But because they knew what needed to be done—and believed they were capable of doing it.
And Their Independence Didn’t Stop Once We Arrived.
While the movers were still unloading boxes, my son found his bike, mapped out the neighborhood, and took it upon himself to explore. When we realized we were missing a specific tool to reassemble a piece of furniture, he hopped on that same bike, rode to a local store, and bought it—completely on his own.
He came back amazed, saying, “There are no homeless people here!”
(San Diego to Oklahoma City culture shock is real.)
That moment made me laugh—but it also reminded me how much he’s grown. He didn’t wait for instructions. He saw a need, solved a problem, and handled it with confidence.
That’s what we’re really aiming for:
Capable, resourceful kids who don’t just follow rules—but know how to lead themselves.
If You’re in the Chaos Stage Right Now…
I want to encourage you: getting here takes time—but it is absolutely possible.
You don’t need to wait for a crisis to start teaching your kids responsibility.
You don’t have to do it perfectly or all at once.
And you definitely don’t have to do it alone.
If you’re tired of constantly reminding, chasing, or doing everything yourself, I’d love to show you how the Household Harmony Plan and Week of 12 can help you make the shift—from obedient kids to truly independent ones.
Want a Household That Runs on Capability, Not Just Compliance?
Curious about how the Week of 12 can work in your home?
Or ready to talk it through with someone who gets it?
