My Youngest’s Week of 12
Josie’s day 4 of her Week of 12
As I type this, we are in the middle of my nearly-12-year-old’s Week of 12! I do have to say that the thirdborn is handling the task load of this week with far more grace than either of my first two. (Sorry, guys.) Maybe it is the fact that she has seen this done twice before, or perhaps it is that she has longed for this rite of passage much longer than the other two. There’s also a possibility that she just lucked out with a personality that fits well with this challenge. No matter the reason, her flaws seem to be showing up much less than mine this go-round.
Yesterday we went to the grocery story, and I quickly realized I had put way more attention toward my older two than I had the baby of this family. From a young age, her older siblings were helping to choose avocados and melons in the produce section; they were helping load and unload groceries. And, while I could have sworn that she had also participated in all these ripe learning activities, as I watched her handle an awkward shopping cart and try to decipher between zucchini and cucumbers, I had a sinking feeling that this child had not been set up for success in near the ways that her siblings had.
Not only at the grocery store, but also in the home, I got a blank stare when I asked her to empty the vacuum and clean the microwave. I could NOT believe I had missed teaching her these things way back when she passed through the stage I’ve outlined where these should be taught. She had never navigated to soccer or entered a credit card online, and when I asked her to check the clothing tags before doing her sister’s load of laundry, she raised her eyebrows like I was speaking another language.
As I was pondering all these occasions as personal failures of mine (imposter syndrome galore), I walked in the house to find half of my refrigerator on the counter. “Mom, the bottom of the fridge, underneath the drawer, was disgusting!”
Had I ever taught this child how to clean out the refrigerator? No.
'“Also, your laundry is ready and the dog food is low, so I put that on the list. I haven’t started tacos yet, but there were a few things past their dates, so I wrote ‘expired’ on the package since I wasn’t sure if you wanted it thrown away or not.”
“Girl, you’re blowing me away with how resourceful you are. You just take care of business!”
*smile* “I feel really responsible, Mom. Like I’m really good at this stuff.”
What I’m realizing is, though I have missed more than a few checks in the boxes of the skill sheets I myself created, the boxes that have been successfully checked and the examples that have come before, have resulted in a capable and responsible problem-solver, who may never actually mow a yard, but who, when push comes to shove, will probably take a challenge head-on.
Want to Build Confidence, Even if You Haven't Taught Everything Yet?
You don’t have to go back and redo all the lessons you missed. Maybe just start with one small skill this week—or even just a conversation that invites your child to notice and step in. The goal isn’t a perfect checklist—it’s a capable heart. And it’s never too late to begin.
