When Your Child Wants to Go to Traditional School: Making the Decision After Years of Homeschooling
One of the unique things about homeschooling is that it gives you options. You can customize academics, explore unique opportunities, and cultivate deep family connection. But what happens when your child—who’s grown up in this environment—asks to try traditional school?
That’s exactly what happened with our oldest. And the decision-making process wasn’t simple.
Why Kids Ask to Try Traditional School
Our daughter had very specific reasons for wanting to go:
Passing periods. Many kids feel silly that they want to experience the “TV show passing period” for themselves—the bustle of lockers, quick chats with friends, and the freedom of moving between classes. It’s an understandable and age-typical desire, fueled by curiosity and a longing for independence. After all, the chance to live that kind of in-between moment only comes once in a lifetime.
Specialized teachers. Instead of one parent covering every subject, she longed to learn from teachers who had deep knowledge in their field.
Social clubs and sports. We all long to be part of something bigger than ourselves—we were made for the vastness of God’s kingdom. Here on earth, that desire often shows up in school activities. Spirit days, drama club, and basketball games all reflect the human pull to rally together, to cheer for our side, and to experience the joy of belonging to something only possible in a community larger than ourselves.
Friend opportunities. She craved a wider circle, beyond co-ops and church.
None of these desires were about rejecting homeschooling. They were about curiosity, growth, and maturity.
Our Family’s Guiding Principles
We decided early on that our kids wouldn’t switch to traditional school just because they hit a rough patch or wanted something “easier.” Homeschooling is work. So is public or private school.
Instead, we set three clear expectations before we’d consider the transition:
Academic responsibility. Could she stay on top of her work without constant reminders? Was she able to persevere when things got difficult?
Relational maturity. Did she show respect, kindness, and wisdom in her friendships? Could she handle peer pressure and navigate conflict?
Theological grounding. Was her faith her own? Could she articulate what she believed and live it out—not perfectly, but genuinely?
Only when these markers were consistently evident did we open the conversation about traditional school.
Walking Through the Decision
We involved her in every step. Together we:
Researched schools in our area.
Talked about daily schedules, homework loads, and expectations.
Considered extracurricular opportunities compared to what she already had.
Prayed for wisdom and unity as a family.
It wasn’t a decision made overnight, but gradually, we all came to peace about giving her this opportunity.
Trusting God With Their Next Step
Letting your child step into a new environment after years of homeschooling can feel scary. But it’s also an act of trust—trusting God to guide their path, trusting the foundation you’ve laid, and trusting your child to live out what they’ve learned at home.
Whether your child stays in homeschooling all the way through or chooses a season in traditional school, the goal is the same: raising them to take responsibility for their faith, learning, and relationships.
How We Are Doing One Week in
Though I think of her all day and crave hearing every detail, I’ve worked to hold back and allow her to process on her time and trust me with information she chooses. However, I’ve also become strategic about when and how I ask questions.
For example…
On the drive home: How did you feel at volleyball today? Who did you sit by at lunch? How did that quiz go?
At dinner: What’s your math teacher like? Who is your funniest teacher? What happened in PE? What is the most stressful times of the day? Do you have time to go to the bathroom?
At bedtime: What teacher are you having the hardest time respecting? Is there someone in your classes that is really bothering you? We should pray for them and figure out your heart toward them.
Encouragement for Parents Facing This Choice
If you’re standing at this crossroads, here are a few questions to ask yourself:
Is my child showing responsibility in academics, relationships, and faith?
Are their reasons for wanting school thoughtful and mature, or reactive and short-term?
Have we prayed and sought God’s direction together?
Ultimately, the decision doesn’t have to mean homeschooling “failed.” It may simply be the next chapter in your child’s story of growth.
